Career Advice

How to Ask Someone to Be Your Reference (With Examples)

Learn how to ask for professional references, covering who to ask, the best time, approach, and examples to help you secure them for your next job application.

When asking someone to be your reference, be respectful and clear. Reach out early in the job application process and ask if they’d be comfortable providing a reference for you. Make it easy for them to say no, and if they agree, share details about the job, your relevant skills, and a quick reminder of the work you did together. No matter what, always follow up with a thank-you message. 

Writing your resume and cover letter? Pretty straightforward. But asking someone to be your reference? It can feel a little tricky and awkward. It’s one of those parts of the job search no one really talks about, so you’re left overthinking every word. 

Who do you even ask? Your teenage summer job boss who definitely still remembers you, but might go a little overboard saying you were the best employee and their favorite niece (because, spoiler: it’s your uncle)? Or that ex-employer you left on great terms, but now wonder if they still remember you fondly enough to vouch for you? 

And then there’s the timing. Do you ask right after you leave? Once you’ve applied? Or do you text your friend Brian and hope he channels his best CEO voice when the hiring manager calls? And if you’re applying to multiple jobs, how often is too often to hit up the same references? 

This guide will help you navigate all that awkwardness. You’ll learn: 

  • What a professional reference is and who to ask. 
  • The best timing and how to create your request email. 
  • Examples for reaching out to current employers, past bosses, coworkers, and more. 

And if you’re looking for more advice, check out these guides: 

What Is a Professional Reference 

A professional reference is someone who’s seen how you work and can speak to your skills, attitude, work ethic, and reliability. It’s typically a former manager, coworker, teacher, or client — basically anyone who’s worked with you in a professional or academic setting. 

Employers want more than a polished resume — they want to hear from people who actually know you. So before you list anyone, ask them first and make sure they’re happy to back you up. 

Who Should You Use as a Reference 

Choose people who know your work and will genuinely recommend you. The best references are people who’ve worked with you directly and can give specific, honest insight into your abilities. 

Solid options include: 

  • Former managers or supervisors 
  • Coworkers or team leads 
  • Teachers, professors, or academic advisors 
  • Internship or volunteer supervisors 
  • Clients or customers 

If you’re just starting out, ask a coach, teacher, or someone you’ve volunteered with, as long as they know your strengths and can confidently recommend you. 

Avoid family unless you’ve actually worked for them — and even then, make sure they keep it professional. Pick people who’ll respond quickly — you don’t want a reference that ghosts your future employer. And don’t ask a friend to pretend to be a former boss. It’s risky, and it could backfire if they’re caught off guard or if the employer wants to connect on LinkedIn. 

How to Ask for a Reference 

In short: reach out to references early — ideally when you start applying. Ask politely, don’t assume, and give them an easy out if they’re not comfortable. Fill them in on the job, your relevant skills, and who might contact them. Share your resume and job description to help them speak confidently on your behalf. No matter the outcome, always follow up with a thank you and keep them in the loop. 

Asking for a reference can feel a bit awkward — like making someone sit through your vacation slideshow and compliment every photo. But it’s a necessary part of the job hunt. The trick is to be respectful, clear, and organized. 

1. Line up references early 

Reach out to references as soon as you start applying for jobs, not halfway through interviews. Let them know they might hear from a few employers, and give them a heads-up when it’s getting close. They’ll appreciate the notice. 

If you’re asking multiple times, try rotating your references so no one gets overwhelmed. Some companies may also ask for written references or forms, so giving them a little extra time is helpful. 

Aim for three solid references. A quick message, call, or coffee chat works — just don’t leave it until the last minute. 

2. Be polite and don’t assume

Asking someone to be your reference is asking for a favor, so approach it with care. Make it easy for them to say yes — or no. Try something like: 

  • “Would you feel comfortable giving me a strong reference for this job I’m applying for?” 
  • “Do you think you know my work well enough to be a reference?” 
  • “I’m applying for [job title] and immediately thought of you. Would you be open to being a reference?” 

If they hesitate or say no, don’t push. You want someone happy to support you, not someone who feels pressured. And if you haven’t spoken in a while, remind them how you know each other, what you worked on together, or when you last connected. And always check how they prefer to be contacted — email, phone, or LinkedIn message. 

3. Fill them in on you and the role 

Give them a quick summary of the job, what it involves, and the key skills the employer’s looking for. You can share the job description, your updated resume, and let them know who might be reaching out. You could say something like: 

  • “This role focuses on project management and communication — just like that campaign we worked on together.” 
  • “They’re looking for someone detail-oriented and reliable, which reminded me of our time on [specific task or project].” 
  • “The hiring manager might reach out by phone or email, and I’ll let you know if I hear more.” 

Keep it brief — just enough to help them recall the key details and talk you up confidently. 

4. Follow up and say thanks 

Whether your reference was contacted or not, always follow up with a thank you. A quick text or email goes a long way: 

  • “Thanks again for being my reference. I really appreciate you taking the time.” 
  • “Just wanted to say thanks for backing me up on this. It means a lot.”

If you land the job (or don’t), let them know how it turned out: 

  • “Good news — I got the job! Thanks so much for your support.” 
  • “I didn’t get this one, but I truly appreciate your help.” 

People like to know how things turn out, and staying in touch makes it easier if you need their help again in the future. 

Reference Request Template 

Stuck on how to ask for a reference without feeling weird? Don’t stress — just copy, paste, tweak the details, and hit send.

Subject: Request for Professional Reference
Hi Dear [Reference’s Name],
I hope you’re doing well. I’m reaching out because I’m currently applying for a [Job Title] position at [Company Name], and I was wondering if you’d be willing to provide a professional reference.
The role involves [brief description of the role, e.g. leading marketing campaigns, managing client accounts] and requires strong skills in [relevant qualifications, e.g. project management, communication, teamwork]. [Company Name] is a [brief description of the company, e.g. innovative tech firm specializing in AI solutions], and they’re looking for candidates who can bring [specific qualities or skills they value, e.g. strategic thinking, leadership experience] to their team.
Given our work together on [project/experience], I believe your perspective on my [specific skills/strengths] would be invaluable to the hiring team as they evaluate my candidacy.
If you’re open to this, I’d be happy to provide more details about the role or answer any questions you might have. Please let me know if there’s anything else you need from me to make this process easier.
Thank you so much for considering my request — I truly appreciate your time and support.
Best regards,
[Your Name]

Reference Request Email Examples 

Need some inspiration for reaching out to the person who’s got your back in the job hunt? Check out these examples to help you write the perfect message. 

Asking a current employer 

Before you ask your current employer for a reference, please make sure you’ve told them you’re exploring other job opportunities — don’t surprise them with a reference request. It’s best to ask once you’ve received a conditional offer to avoid any awkwardness. 

Subject: Reference Request for Job Application

Subject: Reference Request for Job Application
Dear Luna,
I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to ask if you’d be open to providing a reference for me. I’m applying for a Marketing Manager position at GreenTech Solutions, and I think your insights on our recent product launch would be incredibly valuable to their team.
The role focuses on leading marketing campaigns, analyzing customer insights, and developing digital strategies. They’re seeking candidates with strong project management, creative problem-solving, and collaboration skills — all of which align with the work we’ve done together.
I understand you have a busy schedule, so if you’re open to this, I’d be happy to provide more details or answer any questions. Thank you so much for considering this, and I really appreciate your support.
Best regards,
Claire Ryan

Asking a former boss 

Got on well with a former boss? If things ended on good terms, they might be the perfect person to vouch for you. 

Subject: Quick Favor – Reference Request
Hi James,
I hope you’re doing well and that everything’s going smoothly over at Elmwood. I still think about how much I learned during my time there — especially during the rollout of the client onboarding system.
I’m getting ready to take the next step in my career and have just applied for a Client Success Manager role at NovaTech. The position is geared toward building long-term client relationships, streamlining onboarding, and improving retention — all areas we worked closely on.
I immediately thought of you as someone who’s seen my work up close and could speak to my strengths in communication, organization, and problem-solving. If you’d be comfortable acting as a reference, I’d really appreciate it. I can send over the job description and my updated CV if that’s helpful.
No worries at all if it’s not something you can commit to right now — just let me know either way. Thanks again, and I hope we can catch up properly sometime soon.
All the best,
Sophie Martinez

Asking a teacher or professor 

If you haven’t worked in the field yet, a professor or teacher who knows your strengths and what you’re capable of can be a great person to endorse you. 

Subject: Reference Request for Graduate Program Application
Hi Professor Lewis,
I hope you’ve been doing well and that your semester’s off to a good start. I’m reaching out because I’m currently applying for the Master’s program in Public Health at UCLA, and I was wondering if you’d feel comfortable writing me a letter of recommendation.
I really appreciated your Global Health course last year — it sparked my interest in epidemiology and reinforced my decision to pursue this path. I also valued the feedback you gave me on my final research paper about vaccine distribution in underserved communities, and I think you had a great view of my work ethic and writing ability.
The program is looking for applicants who are strong in research, communication, and critical thinking. I believe your insight into my academic performance and passion for public health would really strengthen my application.
If you’re open to it, I’d be happy to share my personal statement, resume, and any additional info that might help. The deadline for submissions is October 12, but I wanted to reach out early in case you’re available.
Thanks so much for considering this and for all the support you’ve given me throughout my studies.
All the best,
Jasmine Moore

Asking a past supervisor or manager 

If you had a supervisor or manager who respected your work, taught you valuable lessons, and even thought highly of you, they could be the perfect person to back you up. 

Subject: Reference Request for Event Coordinator Role
Hi Danielle,
I hope you’re doing well. I’m reaching out because I’m applying for an Event Coordinator position at Aspen & Co., and I was wondering if you’d feel comfortable serving as a reference for me.
The job centers around organizing corporate events, managing vendor relationships, and handling logistics — which reminded me a lot of the work we did together at Midtown Hospitality. As the Front Desk & Admin Assistant, I helped coordinate bookings for conference rooms, supported guest services during large events, and liaised with vendors to make sure everything ran smoothly. I truly valued your guidance during that time, and I think your perspective on how I handled tight deadlines and shifting priorities would be really helpful to the hiring team.
If you’re up for it, I can send over the job description, my resume, and any other information that might help. And of course, no worries at all if you’re too busy — just let me know what works best for you.
Thanks again for considering this. I really appreciate it.
All the best,
Maya Chen

Asking a coworker 

Sometimes your manager wasn’t too involved in your day-to-day — but a coworker you worked with closely can speak to your skills way better. Just be upfront with the hiring manager about why you’re listing a colleague instead, so it doesn’t raise any eyebrows. 

Subject: Reference Request for New Job Opportunity
Hi Juliette,
I hope you’re doing well. I’m reaching out because I’m applying for a Digital Marketing Specialist role at Innovate Solutions, and I was hoping you’d be willing to provide a reference for me.
The position involves creating and executing digital campaigns, analyzing web traffic, and managing social media strategies. Given the work we did together on the social media rebranding for the Johnson campaign, I think your perspective on my creativity and ability to meet tight deadlines would be valuable to the hiring team.
If you’re open to providing a reference, I’d be happy to send more information about the role or answer any questions you might have. Thanks so much for considering this, and I really appreciate your time.
All the best,
Sophie Martinez

Asking a client 

Worked freelance or closely with clients? If someone you helped out on a project can talk about your skills and reliability, they can make a great reference — just make sure to explain the relationship when you pass along their details. 

Subject: Reference Request
Hi Andy,
I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to reach out with a quick favor. I’m applying for a Senior Accountant position at Shoreline Finance, and I was wondering if you’d be comfortable acting as a professional reference.
They’re looking for someone experienced in small business accounting, client reporting, and tax prep, which are all areas I handled while working with you at Blue Finch Interiors. I really appreciated how collaborative our work was, and I think you could speak to how I managed your monthly reports, helped streamline your invoicing process, and supported your team through tax season.
If you’re open to it, I can send along a bit more info about the role or anything else you might need. I understand if the timing isn’t right — just let me know either way.
Thanks so much, and I hope everything’s going smoothly with the new studio.
All the best,
Marcus Patel

Thank-you message after receiving a reference 

Once someone’s taken the time to speak on your behalf, the least you can do is thank them. Even if they never got contacted, a quick thank-you message shows you appreciate their support, keeps the relationship strong, and, well, it’s just the right thing to do. 

Subject: Thank You for the Reference
Hi Jordan,
I just wanted to say a big thank you for taking the time to provide a reference for my application to the Operations Manager role at BrightLine Logistics. I really appreciate your support — especially the way you highlighted our work together on the process improvement initiative.
Your recommendation means a lot, and I’m grateful you were willing to vouch for my skills and experience. I’ll keep you posted on how things go with the application.
Thanks again,
Melissa Chaney

Requesting references from candidates 

If you’re a recruiter moving forward with a candidate, requesting references is part of the process. This email keeps it simple, professional, and ensures you get the info needed to make the right call. 

Subject: Request for References
Hi Molly,
Thank you again for taking the time to speak with us. As we move forward in the hiring process for the Dental Assistant position, we’d like to request a list of professional references.
Please provide the names and contact details of two to three people who can speak to your experience and qualifications in the dental field. Let us know if you have any questions.
Best regards,
Melissa Chaney, Recruiter | SmileCare Dentistry

Summary 

Here’s a recap of what to keep in mind when asking someone to be your reference: 

  • Reach out early in your job search, not after a few interviews. 
  • Choose references who can vouch for your skills, like past managers, coworkers, teachers, or clients (no family or friends unless they’ve worked with you). 
  • Ask politely and give them an easy out if they’re not able to help. 
  • Share job details, requirements, and skills needed to help them speak confidently. 
  • Always thank them, regardless of the outcome, and keep them updated. 
  • If asking a current employer, inform them you’re exploring other opportunities first. 
  • Ask how they prefer to be contacted (email, phone, LinkedIn) and respect their choice. 
  • Provide your resume and the job description to connect your skills to the role. 
  • If they decline, don’t push. Make sure they’re comfortable and happy to help. 
  • Keep references in the loop, even if you don’t get the job, to make future requests easier. 

FAQ 

What should you not say when asking for a reference? 

Avoid being vague or pushy. Don’t say things like, “I need you to be my reference by tomorrow” or “Just tell them I’m great.” Instead, be polite and specific about the role you’re applying for and why you think they’d be a good reference. 

Should you put “references available upon request” on your resume? 

There’s no need to put “references available upon request” on your resume — employers expect you’ll provide them if asked. Use that space for more important information, like your skills, achievements, or experience. Save the reference list for when it’s asked for. 

What do employers ask references?

Employers usually ask references about your work ethic, skills, and how you handle challenges. Expect questions like, “Would you rehire them?” or “What are their strengths and weaknesses?” They want to know if you’re as great as your resume says you are. 

Who should you never list as a reference? 

Avoid listing anyone who might give negative feedback or doesn’t know you well professionally. For example, don’t pick your current boss if they don’t know you’re job hunting — it could get awkward. Also, steer clear of family members unless you’ve worked with them and they can be objective — otherwise it looks unprofessional. 

Is it professional to use a friend as a reference? 

It’s fine to use a friend if they’ve worked with you in a professional setting, like as a coworker or supervisor, and can speak to your work ethic. But if they’re just your friend from college or game night, it won’t hold the same weight. 

Who should I put as a reference for my first job? 

For your first job, think about teachers, coaches, volunteer supervisors, or anyone who has seen your skills and hard work firsthand. They don’t need to be from paid work — they just need to vouch for your reliability, character, and potential. A mentor or someone from an internship is also a great choice.

How to ask someone to be your reference via text? 

Keep it polite and straightforward, like: 

“Hi [Name], hope you’re doing well! I’m applying for [role] and was wondering if you’d be open to being a reference for me. I really value what I learned working with you and think you could speak to my skills. Let me know if you’re comfortable with that. Thanks so much!” 

What if I don’t have any references for a job application?

If you don’t have references yet, focus on building connections through internships, volunteering, or networking. Let employers know you can offer character references (like teachers or mentors) or work samples instead. Some jobs might even overlook the reference check if your resume and interview are strong enough. 

Sarah Coghlan

Sarah Coghlan is a writer and editor passionate about making resume and career advice clear and accessible to all. Based in Barcelona, her goal is to help job seekers create standout resumes and navigate the job search process with confidence and ease.

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